Last night, I went out to dinner for Anne’s birthday.
I had been dreading it because I was on a roll losing weight and I feared that going out to a restaurant would kill my self-discipline. But the night was supposed to be about Anne and honouring Anne, not me making a huge ordeal about food.
After all, the goal in the end is to enjoy food, but push it to the background and keep it from running my life the way it has up until this point.
So I decided I’d eat right for the day and while I would make sensible choices while out, I’d consider it a point-free night.
I worried a huge amount about that decision, though. The fear of falling down, of becoming lazy and not continuing on really had me going the entire day.
I want to be 106 next week. And while I know that one night won’t really do much damage, I still worried.
At one point, I decided it was a hopeless case. So I had like two timtams and two of the WW apple crumble bars. (I love the apple crumble bars, but I notice that I have a big slow-down in weight loss if I have them more than once every few days.)
Went to go take a shower in the early evening - to start getting ready - and was about to go grab another couple timtams before I popped in and suddenly, I stopped in my tracks.
“What the hell am I doing?”
I’ve done so damn well. Next week, I will have lost 12kgs. (Technically, I’m already teetering between 106 and 107, so I should be a solid 106 by Monday.) That’s 1/4 of the weight I need to lose. My next major goal will be getting to 94kg, which would mean that I’ve lost half of the weight I need to.
Why on earth would I toss that away? Give me a few more weeks and I’ll actually be 100kg. Then 94kg is just another 6k past that. How insane would it be to stop doing this now when I’m so close?
No, I really can’t stop now. I notice some of the changes in my body and stuff like I can see my double-chin starting to shrink and I’ve actually lost a couple cm around my neck. These are things that have been bothering me for years.
Life will happen. I won’t be able to choose wisely every time. And that’s okay. I got to treat those nights as exceptions and just keep going. It’s the same way a 56kg woman does it - chances are, they don’t go nuts exercising after having an especially high-calorie meal. They just don’t have them very often, so it doesn’t matter too much.
Yeah. One step at a time. 100kg next.^^
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